


Tyrannusaurus-rex

by Shark_el



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M, POV First Person, POV Multiple, Watford (Simon Snow), Watford Fifth Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shark_el/pseuds/Shark_el
Summary: Baz is tutoring Simon in magic words because Penny isn't there, and things go pretty much as you'd expect, aka a total disaster!but Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30
Collections: All the Simon Snow Fic





	Tyrannusaurus-rex

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katie_hir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katie_hir/gifts).



> this fic was based off of a conversion I had with @katie_hir about how Baz's first name (Tyrannus) sounds like a dinosaur name, and well lets just say I was really bored one day and decided to write this.  
> this is the first fic I've written since middle school, and the first one I've ever published.  
> Eh whatever I hope you guys enjoy and that its not to bad, but I wrote this for fun and I guess that's what matters right??  
> Any way here's my crack-fic.

**Baz**

We're in magic words class and I've been assigned to babysit Simon snow, a job usually reserved for Bunce but she's sick with some sort of highly infectious disease leaving her quarantine and bed ridden.

So of course I have the ‘absolute pleasure’ that is tutoring snow on his magic words homework.

We're sitting at his desk and it's awkward.

Even though we've been roommates for five years now, we never really talk. Unless it's to pick a fight, Which normally end up in me saying some witty retort or insult, and snow growls at me, his magic bubbling up to the suffice the like hot water in a tea kettle, then proceeds to storm out of the room slamming the door behind him.

I can see the visual discomfort and anger on his face at having to not only sit next to me but also at having me explain to him what to do. He's always had such an expressive (and beautiful) face.

“Listen snow i don't want to do this ether but let's just get it over with, and hope for Crowley's sake that Bunce gets well back soon”

“You're probably the one who made Penny sick in the first place, don't know how or why but definitely for some plot or somethin’ ”' he mutters under his breath, and I suppress a snort. That's another thing about Snow he always thinks I'm up to something, has for years now. Sure sometimes he's right, but normally it's all in his head, though I never confirm or deny it which always drives him mad.

Raising one eyebrow I say as sarcastically as possible “Yes snow i contracted some sort of diseases to get Bunce sick just so i can sit next to you, and teach you how to transform inanimate objects”

He just rolls his eyes at me. A clear since I've won yet again.

I just smirk at him and take in the silence, letting his glare settle on me.

I pretend not to notice as i say “Anyway, Snow this is a simple spell, one not even you could possibly be able to mess up''

He just grimaces and continues glaring at me, I don't know how I'm supposed to survive two full hours of this, but ill make due.

We're supposed to transform a stuffed animal from one creature to another. I of course mastered this in the first five minutes, which is how I got myself into this miserable situation in the first place.

Snow decided to turn him into a dinosaur.

After about half an hour of working on emphasis and pronunciations for the spell, an infuriating process that involved repeating the words ``life err...finds a way” from Jurassic park, several times in many different ways. We moved on to the wand movement which he was holding all wrong, as always. I don't know how Bunce can deal with tutoring him all the time, he's just so useless (it's kind of endearing in a way, though I'd never admit it).

“No snow, don't be so harsh with it. it's more of a fluid motion, like this” and I demonstrate with my wand.

“Oh sod off, I tried that already it doesn't work” he says exasperated.

“Well try again” I say frustrated.

He begrudgingly tries again.

wrong, again.

He’s such a fumbling disaster I can't decide whether it's infuriating or adorable.

He's on his seventh try and I sort of just stare at him (because he's trying so hard, and it's cute, and I can't help myself. thankfully he doesn't notice), he just needs some direction maybe if I just?...

No, I can't. sitting next to him is bad enough. if I reach out and help direct him with my hand. I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself from doing something I'll regret.

I'm fantasizing about his warm hand holding mine, hands clasped together just slightly intertwined at the fingertips (because I'm a useless romantic and I can't help myself) when I'm struck back to reality with a bang.

Blinking twice I realize it's the sound of snow smashing his fist in anger on the desk, and I can tell he's about to go off by the feeling of hot thick magic beginning to flow everywhere around us.

“Calm down snow” I practically yell.

“I'm trying!” he shouts back.

I waver between wanting to help calm him down and egging him on, making him go off by saying something to make him even more frustrated, and this time with his full rage focused on me, maybe he'd be so mad he’d pin me to the wall and… (oh Crowley I'm disturbed).

I settle on letting him calm down on his own since me helping him calm down would probably put him even more on edge.

“Ok let's take a break for a few minutes Snow, I need to go get some air” I say and take my leave.

As I walk through the corridor outside of class trying to clear my head, and realizing we weren't making any progress, so I decide maybe i should try a different approach to teaching him, (though it pains me) encouragement.

When I come back he’s mostly calmed down.

I sit next to him and I say in the most encouraging way I can “ok, are you ready to try again?”

“Yah I guess” he says exhausted, like he normally is after he almost goes off.

he holds out his wand again hands shaking, he’s worked himself up too much at this point.

“Snow I know you're trying but the spell won't work if your hand isn't stabile”

“I know, I know it's just…” he starts but doesn't continue, voice tired and faint.

“Do you want help?” I say softly, don't know why I asked that he'd never agree, but now it's too late to take it back.

He nods.

I don't know how to react, but I reach out my hand to help steady him (someone should probably help steady me at this point).

**Simon**

Baz is reaching out his hand, somewhere in the back of my mind I know he's doing it to help me, but my body reacts and panics before he can, since I'm not used to him actually helping me.

I stop thinking.

I'm watching myself spin toward him and chant the spell more clearly and precisely than I've done all day.

The next thing i know Baz is standing there in front of me, only its not Baz its a T-rex, about 2 feet tall with dark grey scales and pointy teeth, sort ’a like the plushie I imagined except alive (well as alive as a vampire dinosaur can be) and glaring at me with pure fury in his eyes.

At first I'm just surprised that it actually worked!

Then I want to apologize and tell him it was a reflex, and that I actually did want his help. when the full reality of the situation and how utterly absurd it is catches up with me then I'm doubled over on the floor laughing before I can stop myself.

I can't breathe, this is too much, I actually can't!

After about two or three minutes of me laughing hysterically on the floor clenching my stomach, tears streaming down my face, I take a deep breath.

I'm about to calm down when I realize something else that makes this entire situation a whole lot funnier.

“Baz you’re a Tyrannusaurus-rex!” I blurt out and that sends me into another fit of laughter.

I think I can faintly hear Baz say “Snow stop laughing, and try to find a way to turn me back!” in an angry and exasperated tone, which would have scared me shitless if the spell hadn't also made him sound like a plushie (or at least how you'd expect one to sound like).

But after a moment I am terrified because if I don't die of laughter, Baz will happily do the honors (though that's nothing new).


End file.
